So, here’s the thing. When I was in grade school, I was the obnoxious know-it-all. I didn’t need to study that hard to get through with good enough grades to keep mom off my back. There was a slowly declining curve as I progressed through high school, and then college came, and I skimmed by the skin of my teeth, to be honest. First grad school wasn’t intensely difficult because a lot of what I did was about making things — writing words, learning to direct, stage managing, building sets, so on. No academic writing whatsoever.
Takanawadai Elementary school 高輪台小学校24 (Photo credit: scarletgreen)
The reason I say the above is because it means this: I never learned good study habits. Ever. I was a lazy snot and bluffed the rest. Or maybe I didn’t consider some things studying because I enjoyed doing them, and they came easily because I was interested. The point is, now I’m in a boat where I’m very interested in what I’m doing, but it is very very hard and it is kicking my ass. So I’ve had to hoist myself by the bootstraps and get in gear, and I’ve had to cobble methods for making this happen as I go along.
Anyone want to hear how I’m getting that done? I offer this in the hope that something I’ve thrown together may be of benefit to someone else out there. And to hear how others out there get their stuff done. Because this is joyously hard (she says, tearing out a bit of hair a realizing she’s chipped yet another tooth), and sharing is caring and it’s nice to know I’m not alone in this boat.
Well. I’ve still got several days of European trip to recap, an Ars Magica game to gently construct, a doctoral program to get ready for, and by the beginning of next month I’ll be headed back to the US to help out my family for a few weeks.
I’ve been numbing my mind a bit with SWTOR, to be honest. The reasons for heading back to the US so soon after returning to Oz aren’t positive ones, though I sorely wish they were. And there’s the mildly building stress of going to school for the first time in eleven years.
Yeah. I’ve been numbing my brain a bit. I feel a little guilty about not writing at least the travelogues, but when it comes to something so reasonably easily accomplished, it feels like an overwhelming insurmountable thing. Couple that with realizing I’ve bitten off more than I can chew in my initial PhD proposal, and I collapse into a little gravity well of worry.
Well, I’m built for worrying. It’s innate. Like breathing. Inhale, fret. Exhale, brood. Repeat. This plays a huge role in how I make decisions in my life, for good or ill, but that’s its own post.
I don’t have any photos to share with you for this post, since I’m at work and don’t have any images on a thumb drive (I’m posting during my lunch break!). But I will try very hard to compose another entry for you all tonight, complete with pictures. It’ll probably take my mind off things, to be honest.